


Everybody Wants to be a Cat

by anarchycox



Series: Phil Coulson is a Disney Princess [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Disney's The Aristocats AU, F/M, Fluff, Jemma Fitz and Daisy are teens, Phil is basically their dad, it is silly and sweet, jemma - Freeform, look just enjoy, melinda is o'malley, phil is duchess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-09-28 17:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10141361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: Look this is an Aristocats Au, it is really that simple.





	1. Chapter 1

“Hey junior scientists, Fury sent your Friday treat,” Garrett said holding a couple pizzas and some garlic bread. He saw Fitz poking at a robot, and Jemma was dissecting something, he wasn’t going to look too closely and the other brat was -

“Boo!” Daisy jumped up from behind the couch.

“HaHa, you got me,” Garrett said deadpan.

Daisy frowned a bit. “You weren’t scared at all?”

“Face down six guerrilla fighters with assault weapons while all you have is your spork and your dirty undies, and you’ll find a 12 year old isn’t so scary,” Garrett smirked a little.

“I’m going to be 13 in a couple weeks,” Daisy muttered. She took the food from him. “You remembered meatless on the one right?”

“Of course, you know Fury only wants the best for all of you,” Garrett’s smile was utterly insincere.

“Stay for a slice or two, Garrett,” Phil said and Garrett jumped a bit. He scowled when Daisy laughed. “Sorry, Garrett.”

Garrett laughed it off and clapped a hand on Phil’s shoulder. “No worries man, you’d think you had once been in the field instead of being a glorified babysitter, for Fury’s Freaks.”

The three kids froze.

“We prefer not to use that phrase in here,” Phil said mildly.

“Just joking kids, well I’m off, Fury has me doing some important things,” Garrett smiled at them all some more.

“What, like remembering to pick up his drying cleaning?” Daisy joked.

“Get that lame sense of humour from your dad here,” Garrett shook his head. “Sort of jokes that can get you punched one day.”

Daisy flinched away and Garrett’s day was immediately better. He wouldn’t mention that he was in fact picking up Fury’s leather coat from where it was being mended.

“He’s not very nice is he?” Fitz asked never looking up from his robot.

“He just doesn’t know what to do around people like you,” Phil said soothingly. “Good man, good field agent from all reports.”

“Bet you were better. And I know I’m going to be better than him,” Daisy said. She made a couple punches in the air.

“You are a computer expert Daisy,” Phil reminded her, “Or you will be.”

“Hey, I’m already better than most of SHIELD,” she pouted.

“Is that why you’ve been slacking off on your work?” Phil asked. He took the pizzas to the one non-work table they had. “Food time, all projects down.”

Daisy was the only one to come over.

“Fitz, Jemma, I’ll take away Friday Fun Night,” he warned.

“But we were going to see if my drone could get into Hill’s office,” Fitz glared at him. Phil looked at the bit of peach fuzz on the boy’s chin and wondered who was going to teach him to shave. And then remembered that it would be him. 

“Then come over and eat at least 3 slices,” Phil said. “Jemma -”

“Coming,” she said, putting her knife down.

“Hands,” Phil reminded her.

“Yes, I have both of them. Did you forget you’re the one missing a hand?” Jemma looked concerned. “Should I do a check up?”

“No, Jemma, but a person who was cutting up a frog, needs to wash their hands before pizza. And no giving check ups until you have your MD.”

“I’m taking University level biology classes,”

“You don’t even have your learner’s permit, Doogie.” The reference flew over Jemma’s head, but she washed her hands.

The four sat down to pizza and juice. “Now then, about your Shakespeare essays,” he began. All three groaned. He loved that pained sound.

******************************************

“Sir, they broke the rules,” Garrett protested. “Flying drones in the SHIELD executive offices? You give them too much leeway.”

Fury was grinning at the little drone that Daisy had painted stars on. “Oh come on they’re just being kids.”

“In one of the most dangerous facilities in the world. Your little be Professor X experiment has been cute and all, but jesus Fury, they need to stay in their little schoolroom.”

“Those kids are going to be running R&D by the time they are 25,” Nick said.

“Which is a decade from now,” Garrett answered. 

“Don’t worry so much, go to the range, release some tension.” Nick stood up. “Thanks for getting my coat by the way.”

“Of course, Director Fury,” Garrett smiled. When he went to his own office he threw a cup against the wall in rage.

Nick walked down to the schoolroom, where Phil was playing Pandemic with his charges. They were all arguing about the best course of action for stopping the plague. For how smart the kids were they never realized how much Phil was teaching them with board games. “If you don’t shore up China you are completely fucked,” he said from the door.

Daisy giggled at the swear word. “Uncle Nick, come play with us.”

“Director Fury,” Phil chided gently.

“You know I don’t give a damn what your kids call me,” Nick said and he sat at the table. “Let’s save the world.” 

They all played happily and at the end Nick handed Fitz his drone. “Made it within a hundred yards of Hill’s office, you’re getting better. You missed a camera though Daisy. And Jemma how did you help out?”

Jemma smiled. “If anyone but you had touched the drone, it was programmed with a sleeping spray I created.”

“Good work, hope Phil gave you guys a good treat,” Nick said.

Daisy perked up. “We get to all sleep in here tomorrow night and watch movies and eat all the junk food we want. He even is letting us watch an R rated movie.”

“Well now that sounds like a fun time,” Nick said. “You three clean up the game, need to talk to Phil a bit.”

Phil nodded and he and Fury went into the hall. “How they doing?”

“Good, no nightmares for 7 days for Daisy, almost three weeks for Fitz and Jemma,” Phil said. “Daisy will probably be ready for her GED next year, and Jemma and Fitz are doing well with their online university classes. Jemma turns 16 in a few months, we need to get her a car. And I need to teach Fitz to shave.” But then Phil beamed with pride and took the black glove off his hand. “Look at the latest hand they all designed together.” 

Nick touched the prosthetic impressed. “No skin yet?”

“They’ve been working on the mechanics and some nifty hardware. They’ll design a synthetic skin as their summer project. They’ll want to do their little science fair again,” he warned.

“I look forward to it,” Nick reassured him. Nick looked through the door at the three kids. “I do the right thing keeping them here?”

“Nick all three were found in horrible circumstances, by SHIELD agents. You brought them in to be debriefed and checked over. You were looking into options, only they found that room and just sort of claimed it. They are happy, they had nowhere else to go, and they’ve made a home.”

“You happy?” Nick asked.

Phil looked at the kids, his kids. “Yeah, I am.”

“Don’t miss the field?”

“Come on, Nick, I was never in the field.” Phil winked and walked back into his kids.

Nick laughed and went back upstairs. He wanted to organize a couple things.

**********************************

“Sir, Gonzalez is here to see you,” Garrett said at the door.

“Great,” Nick waved the man in and Garrett watched them hug. “Dismissed Garrett.”

Garrett nodded and went to his office. Nick still hadn’t found the bug he had put in there. It was standard boring ass remember the good old days bullshit, no interesting information to blackmail anyone with, or to sell. He was seriously debating killing Fury.

“So, why did you want to see me Director?” Gonzalez asked, finally getting to the point.

“Need to talk about organizational structure a bit, create a new division,” Nick said.

“Of course, what do you have in mind? Garrett’s been working for you for a few years now, he’s made some interesting requests for a team.”

Garrett resisted rubbing his hands together. He had been submitting for years..

“No, thinking about down the road. And I think Coulson and his kids will be running this place one day. I want to increase their current budget to four million, see what they can come up with. They impress us, we talk about securing their future better in the organization.”

Garrett flushed with rage. Bullshit.

“A bold step, especially for a suit and three teenagers.”

“I think we are going to need something bold,” Nick said. “Move with the times. But if they don’t produce anything interesting in six months, we’ll give the remainder of the money to Garrett to see what he does with it.”

“Very good, Director.” The talk switched back to boring crap again. Garrett was furious, those kids didn’t need that money, for whatever bullshit they did down there. If he had those resources he could damn well take over SHIELD. He paced his office, and tried to think. It took a bit but then he realized, no teenagers, and it would be his.

He smiled to himself, he needed to steal a couple things from the secured science lockers.

***************************

“Come on, Daaaad, you have to wear them, it’s a sleepover,” Daisy said holding out the pajamas. 

Phil flushed a little. The three only called him Dad when they were annoyed or teasing, it was mostly Coulson. He would never tell them he secretly sort of loved it.

“Are they are cheerful as your pajamas there?” Phil asked.

Daisy looked down at her My Little Pony pjs. “Shut up, they are ironic.”

Phil smiled a little. “Thanks for getting me Captain America.”

He went to the bathroom and changed into them and returned. Fitz was in a set that looked like a Star Trek uniform, and Jemma’s was covered in DNA. Their food table was just covered in snacks and the usually contraband soda. There were SHIELD sleeping bags on the ground and a big screen set up.

“Now you swear that this won’t cause nightmares?” Phil asked as he held up the original Nightmare on Elm Street.

Daisy snorted. “Like we’re going to be scared of an 80s horror movie.”

“Aye,” Fitz agreed. He touched his smooth cheeks. Phil had helped him earlier, it had felt funny. “I’m 15, and have seen a man turn into a liquid element, an ugly guy with a gardener’s glove will nae scare me.”

Jemma smiled and made sure she curled up next to Phil, he’d keep them safe. They all got stacks of food and settled into watch.

Daisy was clutching a pillow and Jemma was buried in Phil’s arm. Fitz was acting like he was fine, but maybe this was worse than he expected.

The creepy music started and they all tensed.

“Oh man Krueger is the best,” Garrett said at the door. 

All four on the ground screamed and popcorn went flying.

“Oops,” Garrett smirked. “Though you were too tough to be scared of a movie.”

Daisy stuck out her tongue at him. “I’m like totally tough, it isn’t scaring me.”

“Sure there, you tell yourself that,” Garrett said. “One, two Freddy’s coming for you,” he sang creepily.

Jemma burrowed more into Phil, who gave Garrett a stern look.

“Sorry, man, just joking,” Garrett held out a pink box. “Brought all of you doughnuts for your party.”

Fitz grabbed them. “Did ye remember?”

“Yes, there is a muffin for your doughnut hating ass,” Garrett replied. “Enjoy your night.” He left them all be.

The four of them poked at the box, and picked out a treat even though they were stuffed from their earlier binging.

“See, he’s a nice guy,” Phil said biting into a bear claw.

“He’s mean and one day, I’m going to show him. I am tough,” Daisy answered.

They all barely managed to finish their chosen treat and went back to the movie. Garrett watched from the shadows and they were all passed out within 20 minutes. Now he just had to ditch them far away and leave them to their fate.

 

****************************************

Phil felt gross and like he was sitting in something wet. “Which of you dropped your coke?” He asked, groaning.

He blinked and looked around blearily. This wasn’t their room. It wasn’t a room at all. It was an alley. Phil scrambled up and checked. He was still in his Captain America pajamas, amid garbage and god knew what time it was. “Hello?” He called out. He didn’t have a weapon, and id, money, nothing.

And he didn’t have his kids.

His blood ran cold.

And so did his skin when it started to drizzle a bit.

“Kids?” Phil called out. “Daisy? Jem, Fitz? Are you here?” He ran deeper into the alley. He had no idea if he wanted them to be there or not. If they weren’t, there was a chance they were still home safe.

He heard crying and followed the noise. He found Fitz curled protectively around Jemma. “Stay away!” Fitz yelled before he realized it was Phil. “Dad, what happened?” This time it wasn’t said in a teasing way.

“I don’t know, but I’m here, it’s okay. Are you two hurt?” Both shook their heads no. “Have you seen your sister?” It was the first time, he had called Daisy that; they didn’t correct him.

All three heard a scream around the corner. Phil went running. Daisy was curled in between a dumpster and a wall, trying to get out of the reach of a man.

“Get away from my girl!” Phil snarled and he ran forward. But he didn’t need to. Daisy had held out her hand and the man went flying. Phil went over and slammed the man’s head into the ground, making sure he was knocked out. He approached Daisy slowly. “Daisy?”

She was crying, and the dumpster beside her started to vibrate a little. 

“Daisy, sweetie, you need to listen to my voice. Come back to me baby. I have your brother and sister, it’s all okay?” 

Daisy managed to look up at him. “Daddy?”

“Yeah, I’m here, honey. Fitz and Jem are too,” he promised hearing light footfalls behind him. The shaking stopped and Daisy pushed forward into his arms.

“Told you I’m tough,” she sobbed.

“The toughest,” Phil agreed. He picked her up and looked at the other two. “We need to find somewhere else to hide.” The three walked a couple blocks, until Phil couldn’t carry Daisy anymore. They went down a different alley and there was a corner that was a bit protected from the elements.

They all huddled in it and Phil touched the side of his hand, so that the Captain America replica shield lit up and gave them a little more protection.

“Are we in a nightmare, is Freddy going to get us?” Jemma asked. She flushed, it was such a stupid question. “I’m sorry, that was silly. Do we know where we are?”

“The signs I saw were in Cryillic, that narrows it down a little,” Phil said. “We’ll figure something out when morning comes.”

The kids kept edging closer. They felt so old usually, with their giant brains, and endless studies. But if he was scared, he couldn’t imagine what they were feeling.

“I’ve got you, I’ll keep you safe,” Phil promised.

“I want to go home, to SHIELD,” Daisy whimpered. The other two nodded.

  
“I’ll get you there, I promise,” Phil swore. He wouldn’t let any more harm come to his kids. He stood in front of them and did his best to protect them from the elements. 


	2. Chapter 2

"No way, did he just take the kids on a field trip, without a note, or consultation," Nick roared. "Garrett, form a team and find them."

Garrett smiled. "Of course sir, though I do think they caught a whim. They've been studying rain forests, we'll start in Central America."

"Good, keep me updated." Nick waved Garrett away. He stood there and looked out the window holding a meeple from one of the board games. "Where are you?" he whispered into the silence.

********************************

Melinda walked down the street as dawn was just hitting the buildings, pleased. Hunter's intel was spot on as usual and she was able to take out the cell with surprisingly little fuss. She had no idea whether who they were, but they had been paid a fortune to get rid of them. There was the scent of bread on the air and she debated stopping in the bakery to buy something.

Melinda blinked as she saw the man peer out of the alley. She slipped her hand to the small of her back, ready to neutralize. But he hadn't noticed her yet. He stepped forward a bit and saw that he was in Captain America pajamas. He didn't even have shoes. He did however have a hand that was scanning the sign of the bakery before he disappeared back into the alley.

Melinda couldn't let it go, just in case it was somehow tied to the 10 bodies she had left in that apartment. She followed him quietly into the alley but she couldn't see him.

She did hear him though and when he tried to rush her, she slammed him into the wall. He reversed it quickly enough and they were fighting and he wasn't bad, but clearly out of practice and she had him subdued in a couple minutes.

"Whitehall's men are getting sloppy," she said. "Though I admit the Captain America pajamas are a little distracting. Also not the best idea to have bare feet in an alley in Kiev."

"We're in Kiev? Shit I don't have a single contact here." He attacked again. "I'm really sorry about this but I need to mug you."

Melinda subdued him again just as easily. "How's that working out for you?"

"Well, it would be better if you weren't all baddass," Phil muttered.

"Dad said a swear," Daisy whispered, just loud enough to be heard by Melinda. "He also is losing, should we help him?"

"He said nae," Fitz also popped his around the dumpster. "Uh-oh she saw me."

"Well don't be so obvious," Jemma said and hauled him back.

Melinda started to move towards the kids and was shocked when the man actually got her on the ground and got her gun off her. 

"You don't touch my kids," he snarled.

"They aren't your kids." The faces and accents were all different enough.

"My kids," He repeated and kept the gun trained on her. "Do you have a vehicle?"

Melinda arched up and knocked him off and got her gun back and held the muzzle to his forehead. "Who are you?" She cocked the gun.

"Kids, get out of here," Phil said. 

"No, Dad we're not leaving you. I'll do the thing," Daisy came running forward and threw out her hands again. Only it didn't work so well this time. A few pebbles and a pop can shook and that was about it. "Uh-oh." She grabbed the can and threw it at Melinda. Everyone was actually surprised when it made contact. "Ha, see Dad, I'm tough." Daisy almost cheered but then remember her lessons from Uncle Nick and moved into a boxing stance.

These people were absolutely not a threat to her. To themselves, yes, but not to her. She put the safety on the gun and stood up. "I'm sure another mark will come along and you can mug them."

"Dad would nae be able to mug a normal person, it'd be rude," the boy said.

Melinda looked at him, "Well then I guess you'll be stuck in this alley for a long time them. Nights are starting to get cool."

"Please, a few dollars so I can make a call, or get them food. I can figure it out from there," Phil said.

"Not my problem," Melinda walked away.

"Daddy?" she heard the girl who threw the can sound scared.

"Don't worry, we'll get home. I never let you three down right?"

Melinda ignored it and kept walking for another couple blocks and stopped in front of a charity shop that was still closed, it wasn't even 8am yet. "Dammit," she swore to herself and broke in.

******************************

"Did you see how see did that twist thing, it was so cool!" Daisy said after Phil had given her a reassuring hug.

"Yeah, sweetie, I saw, and also felt," Phil said. She had kicked his ass but good. He needed to spend more time in the gym.

"Let me see," Jemma said moving closer.

"I'm fine, Jemma," Phil said but Jemma just swatted his hand away and lifted the back of his pajama shirt. 

"A bit of a scrape, but nothing too serious. We should wash it but it doesn't need a bandage," she said serious.

"You've been spending your free period in medical again," Phil smiled a little.

"They let me do blood pressure readings the other day," she was so proud.

"Good girl." Phil heard a noise and moved in front of the kids. That woman was back. Shit.

But she was holding stuff now and looked a little awkward. "Clothes," she said. She put them on the ground and backed away a little.

Phil moved forward and grabbed them. He started to hand them out to the kids and was relieved when the woman turned her back to them. He quickly stripped out of the pajamas and put on the too short jeans and the shirt that was too big.

"This is all black," Daisy said. "Wasn't there anything nicer?"

"So start your goth phase early," Phil said. "She didn't have to help us. What do you say?"

"Thank you scary lady," Daisy said.

"Aye thanks," Fitz agreed. "This doesn't say something rude does it?" He said looking down at his t-shirt.

"No, Fitz, it just is advertising a band," Phil said. "I think. My Ukrainian is mostly hoping my Russian is close enough."

"Can you teach me Russian?" Jemma asked. "I have French and Italian down now." she had taken the skirt to leave Daisy the jeans, which had to be rolled a few times. Phil wondered when she'd have a teen growth spurt. The shoes were all either too big or pinched, but at least they didn't have to worry about glass anymore.

"When we get home, we'll start lessons," Phil promised.

"Where's home?" Melinda asked.

"That's not your -"

"New York, with Uncle Nick," Daisy filled in. "We need to call him. He'll send an army after us."

"Uncle Nick?" 

"It's fine. Thank you for your help," Phil said. "And we can't call Nick," he told Daisy.

"Why not? He's gonna be freaking out," Daisy said.

"He is likely to be worried," Jemma agreed.

"Tomorrow is his night to pick the board game," Fitz added. "Well maybe tomorrow? What day is it?"

"Monday," Melinda said.

"But it had been Saturday night," Phil shook his head. "We weren't -" he cut himself off. He knew it was too late though, Jemma would figure it out. She opened her mouth and Phil shook his head a little. He didn't want Daisy to realize that they weren't supposed to wake up. "Well, thank you, this was incredibly helpful, we'll be fine from here -?" He paused not having a name.

"Melinda," she said.

"I'm Phil," he replied.

"Fitz."

"Jemma, a pleasure."

"Daisy, I'm going to be a field agent."

Phil groaned. "We don't tell strangers things like that, and you aren't going to be a field agent."

"I can move things with my mind, now," Daisy countered. She paused, "Wait how did I move things with my mind?"

"The drug we were given seemed to have done something to you," Jemma hugged her. "I'll study you in the lab, when we get home. Can I have a brain sample? Just a tiny one?"

"Sure," Daisy agreed easily.

"Maybe I can put some nano tech into you," Fitz said thoughtfully.

Phil sighed. "One, we need to get home first. Two, no brain surgery on your sister until you have a qualified medical diploma. Three, what happened the last time you tried to make nano bots, Fitz?"

Fitz mumbled.

"What was that?" Phil said crossing his arms.

"They ate a hole through floors 10 to 15, and I got video game privileges revoked for two weeks and did nae get to go on the field trip to the Pompeii exhibit at the museum." Fitz crossed his arms like Phil. "But I improved my prototype."

"Okay, so you are their dad," Melinda said to cut through the bickering. "Let's go."

"Go where?" Phil asked suspiciously.

"Train station," she answered. "I'll get you tickets to Prague." 

Phil nodded and pushed the kids forward. The whole walk to the train station Daisy chattered and kept saying they needed to call Uncle Nick. Fitz and Jemma were treating it like a field exercise wanting to collect samples, and Phil kept his eyes on the woman. He didn't trust her. Near as he could tell, she had at least five weapons on her person. She screamed independent contractor and Phil had bad experiences with those back in the days when he was a field agent. They made it to the station and she bought the four of them tickets and then some pastries, which the kids devoured.

"You should eat," she said. "Riding herd on them probably takes a lot of energy."

"Harder than any fire fight," he agreed and took a danish. It was ten minutes until their train.

"Army?" she asked.

"A long time ago," he agreed.

"You drop your left too easily."

"I am well aware, but not really been in a lot of fights since I lost the hand."

"That is impressive tech," Melinda commented.

"They did it, group science project," Phil beamed with pride and started talking about everything it did. He would have gone on but they called for boarding. "I need your email so I can transfer you money, to make it up to you." Phil said. 

"Don't worry about it," Melinda said.

"But -"

"Don't worry about it" she repeated firmly.

Phil nodded, he had a feeling she didn't want to be found after this. "Guys, let's go."

"Daisy disappeared," Jemma said, sounding panicked.

"Okay, fan out, wheel spoke pattern we have three minutes," Phil said calmly. The other two kids ran shouting Daisy's name. Phil was calmer scanning the crowd and kept his hand on the knife he had lifted off of Melinda. 

Melinda found her at a pay phone. Daisy quickly hung up. "I wasn't -"

"Your father is scared. And you are all about to miss your train. I have other places to be. Move," Melinda's voice was unyielding. She gripped Daisy's arm and lead her to the platform. The other kids and Phil were already there and Phil was holding the train door open, delaying it even as a man was screaming at him.

"There she is!" Fitz shouted.

"Come on Daisy," Phil called and he got the other two onto the train.

Daisy started to run to them and Melinda sighed in relief to be almost rid of them. Only Daisy stumbled and the doors were beeping a final warning. Melinda ran fast and picked Daisy up and flung them both forward. The door closed on Melinda's foot and she pulled it in.

Phil helped her up. "Thank you," he said, a little shaky. "She almost didn't make it on."

"Sure," Melinda said. Jemma and Fitz had helped Daisy up.

"And what were you thinking, running away young lady?" Phil asked sternly. "I am seriously thinking no hacking for a month when we get home."

"I was calling Uncle Nick, he'd send a plane for us," Daisy said stubborn to the last. "It's just logical."

"Not when it had to have been an inside job that put us in that alley," Phil shouted. "Daisy, it wasn't an accident, it was deliberate. SHIELD is compromised and we can't trust anyone that might come along with Fury."

"Oh," Daisy said, voice tiny. "They were trying to kill us, weren't they?" she realized.

Jemma hugged her close and Phil pulled them both in, and Fitz too. 

"You are from SHIELD?" Melinda asked, interrupting the moment. "Shit."

"Tickets, please," A train worker requested. The same one who had been arguing with Phil.

"I don't have one," Melinda said. "I'll pay."

"No," the man was pleased. "All of you, with me."

They were all kicked off at the next stop.

"Easy job," Melinda muttered to herself. "In and out, and all of a sudden, I am stuck with SHIELD babies, and their handler. Hunter is going to piss himself laughing."

"We're not babies," Daisy protested.

"And I'm not their handler, I'm...I'm just Phil," he finished lamely.

Melinda stared at all three of them unimpressed.

Phil pulled her a bit away from the kids. "Look, just help me get to Paris. I have a place there, money, resources I can tap. I'll pay you back double and as an incentive, when I get us all home, I'll scrub any files that SHIELD may have on you, because I'm betting one exists."

"Just to Paris?" Melinda questioned.

"Just to Paris," Phil agreed. He held out his hand. "Please, I just need to keep them safe."

Melinda looked over at the kids, Daisy who was trying to make things move again, Fitz who had somehow found a screwdriver and taking apart the station clock, and Jemma who was studying a snail. 

And Phil with a dopey, hopeful smile on his face, like she was a good person who would obviously help them out. 

She wasn't a good person at all.

"Just to Paris," she agreed. "I'll go find a car."

"Kids, come on, time for your first lesson in grand theft auto," Phil called out. They scrambled over and he began to lecture about how to break into a car and what to look for and they all listened rapt.

Melinda shook her head. It was going to be a long drive.


	3. Chapter 3

“We stole a car, that is so badass,” Daisy said in the back seat.

“It isn’t badass, it was a matter of necessity,” Phil said earnestly. “And what did we learn?”

“That we should have taken the BMW, it has better mileage,” Fitz offered.

“That I need to carry more bits of wire and knives on my person, even in pajamas,” was Daisy’s suggestion.

“No knives,” Phil said sternly. He looked at Daisy’s sad face, and relented just a little. “Not until you are fifteen and no training until you are 13.”

“Hah, that’s only a couple weeks away!”

“Hey we’re 15, why don’t we get knives?” Fitz asked.

“Do you want a knife Fitz?” Phil asked.

“No, I want to be able to bring that pocket drone along,” Fitz said.

“Wait, I’ll be sixteen soon, along with learning to drive can I carry around some Icer on my person?” Jemma asked.

Before Phil could answer, Melinda chimed in, “How about we play the silent game, whoever is quiet the longest wins.”

“What would we win?” Daisy asked eagerly.

“Me not knocking you out before we reach Paris,” Melinda’s jaw was tight.

“Oh,” Daisy said. She curled into herself a bit and the other two were silent in the back as well. She could feel Phil glaring at her, but she wasn’t used to so much noise. So many people around. Melinda stayed to herself. She had her contacts and saw Bobbi and Hunter once a month but she had never been stuck for 8 hours in a car with 3 teens and their Dad. Who worked for an agency that she knew had a bounty on her head.

After almost an hour of painful silence, Phil turned to the back seat. “Kids, how about we sing the periodic table song?” Phil suggested. All three perked up and Phil was quite smug as he lead them in the song. At the end he smiled at her, “Looks like you won the game.”

“Go me,” Melinda said dryly.

“Dad,” Jemma said tentatively. “Should we be going home when someone tried to kill us?”

“They didn’t try to kill us,” Daisy protested, a tremor in her voice. “Right, Dad?”

Phil was quiet for a moment and Melinda felt for him, he looked sad and scared for his charges. “Nick didn’t do it, and he might be in danger.”

“Maria dinnae either,” Fitz said. “She thinks we are a bit impractical in the current system of SHIELD but she also slips me codes to dead prototypes to find in the basements to work on.”

“And she and I will be talking about those prototypes,” Phil said, knowing how dangerous they are.

“What about Garrett?” Daisy asked.

“Being a boot licking asshole doesn’t equal wanting to kill us. Frankly keeping us alive and happy is to his benefit,” Phil explained.

Jemma giggled a little, “Dad said something mean about someone.”

“That’s your definition of mean?” Melinda asked Phil.

“Since the kids are here, that is absolutely as mean as I get,” Phil replied. He smiled at Melinda and it was polite, but she could see the rage behind it. “When I find out who hurt my kids, I might be just a little meaner.”

“Are you going to taze someone with your hand?” Fitz leaned forward. “We haven’t experimented with that feature enough yet.”

The two girls also leaned forward. “Yeah but you have to actually touch them for that to work, Dad should just shoot them,” Daisy said.

“I don’t want blood, I vote an electrical shock that shuts down their nervous system,” Jemma added. “Although...a blood sample would allow me to test for the evil gene.”

“There is no evil gene,” Phil said gently.

“The Simpsons had a Halloween episode about it,” Daisy said. “And that show gets a lot of weird shit right, I vote we let Simmons get blood samples.”

“No, she makes me collect them,” Fitz whined.

The three kids started arguing the merits of taser verses gun.

Melinda was debating leaving them all on the side of the road. She looked over to Phil ready to complain, he must be aggravated by all the noise too. Only apparently not as he had fallen asleep against the window.

“Hush, your father has fallen asleep,” Melinda said softly. She was rather shocked when the kids quieted. The kids were quiet for another 30 minutes.

“He’s not really our father,” Daisy said finally.

“Really? This is very shocking information,” Melinda replied. “But a familial sort of bond makes sense, ties you more to SHIELD. Smart handler.” She looked in the mirror and saw all three kids glare at her. “Problem?”

“He’s not our handler, we’re not assets,” Fitz said.

“The head of SHIELD is a cold son of a bitch,” Melinda shot back. “He wouldn’t keep you unless there was something to gain.”

“Uncle Nick isn’t cold,” Daisy immediately defended. “Just a little grumpy because people don’t listen to him. That and he sucks at Catan. That makes him grumpy. He’s better at RPGs. He said for my birthday we can start a D&D campaign.” All three kids bounced at the idea of that.

“Nick Fury, dungeon master,” Melinda said stunned.

“If Phil was just our ‘handler’ as you called him,” Jemma said, “he wouldn’t bunk with us, or hold us while we are sick. He would try to leave us content, satisfied, but he wouldn’t let Daisy paint his nails, or spend hours working on science projects with me that he doesn’t understand at all. He wouldn’t tell us how happy we make him if we were just a job.”

“He says the nice things parents do on telly shows. He doesn’t say we’re worthless and will never amount to anything,” Fitz added. He curled into Jemma a little.

Melinda glanced back, surprised Daisy hadn’t leapt to Phil’s defence yet. The girl looked haunted.

“They were going to experiment on us,” Daisy said. Fitz and Jemma were very still beside her, they didn’t talk about this. “Don’t know who they were, but they had about 30 of us, 8-16. Split us into groups of three, seemed random. I was in a cell with Fitz and Jemma.”

“Months,” Fitz said. “About six or so? Nothing to do, just eat, exercise, and sleep. No education, no contact beyond the two guards with guns and the people you bunked with.”

“And then there started to be less kids,” Jemma said. “And they came for us.”

“Daisy fought,” Fitz remembered. “Punches and scratches and even kicked one in the junk. They thought we were too worn down to fight like that.”

“They broke my arm, and this guy put a gun to my head and said ‘they won’t be too mad for one less lab rat’ and Fitz and Jemma were screaming, begging him not to hurt me.”

“And Phil managed to rescue you in the nick of time.” Melinda looked over at the sleeping man.

“No, of course not. He wasn’t a field agent,” Jemma chided. “An arrow. An arrow went right through the guard's eye. And then this woman came around the corner. She was amazing, lightening, and wind, and this rage. Everyone who worked at the place was dead. Everyone. The guy with the bow and arrow came down from the vents and set Daisy’s arm. The woman never spoke and he spoke too much. We were in shock, I don’t remember much,” Jemma admitted.

“He told us, not to worry they were mostly the good guys,” Fitz said. “I remember that much. I asked about the other kids, and they just sort of looked at each other. We were the only ones...unharmed.”

“They wrapped us in blankets and we were in this truck, this bald guy yelling at them about mission orders and the woman started cleaning a knife and he shut up. He suggested dropping us off at the nearest hospital and erasing our memories, that he was sure there was an amber alert for us.” Daisy shrugged. “Only there wouldn’t have been, no one would have looked for me and -”

“And my father would have been happy I was dead,” Fitz explained.

“My parents would have mourned, and moved on,” Jemma added. “We weren’t going to have been missed.”

“Robin Hood glared at the bald guy and said he was taking us to Coulson. The guy laughed and answered what the nerd in records? The woman threw a knife at him. Robin Hood crouched in front of me and said don’t worry, Coulson will take care of you. He’s the best at taking care of people.”

“Do ye remember the first thing Dad said to us when the guy with the bow and the woman ignored medical and Maria and everyone and hustled us down to records?” Fitz asked.

All three kids said in unison, “Well you look like you’ve had a bit of a day.”

Melinda saw Phil smile a little, wondered how long he had been awake. If he had ever fallen asleep at all.

“The two who rescued us, bald guy, Dad, and a whole bunch of others had a meeting. There was so much yelling,” Daisy explained. “We sat in the hall in those blankets until we heard Dad just shout I’m keeping them, clear section 22-b-alpha for our use.”

“Home,” Jemma said. “We changed the name to the Playground.”

“How long?” Melinda asked.

“18 months,” Fitz said. 

“You got lucky,” Melinda said finally.

“I’m the lucky one,” Phil replied quietly.

“Dad, I need to pee,” Daisy said. The kids pretended like they hadn’t spilled their big secret to a stranger.

Melinda looked at the road signs. “We can stop in ten, there will be a village coming up.”

By the time she parked, Daisy was squirming and ran into the gas station. Fitz and Jemma were a little slower but still eager.

“I can pay you, once we’re home, to never tell anyone what they told you,” Phil looked at Melinda.

“They think they were untouched, but they were experimented weren’t they?”

“Drugs were added to their systems. Fitz and Jemma have had no reactions. I thought the same for Daisy, but -”

“But whatever you were doused with, created a reaction and she seems to have powers.”

“If word got out that some children from a HYDRA experimental cell survived, they’d be hunted,” Phil looked to the windows of the gas station, could see his kids looking at stuff. “I’m going to keep them safe as long as I can.”

“Do they realize who rescued them?”

“No.”

“Hawkeye and Black Widow trust you that implicitly?” Melinda was impressed, the rumours about them were legendary, and always in the stories was that the only people they trusted were each other.

“I’m the one who brought them into SHIELD,” Phil said.

“Shit.”

“That was what Nick said.”

“How much of a threat to me are you?” Melinda asked point blank.

“The Calvary has a rather thick file at the office,” Phil answered.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Fair enough, took a while to figure you out, but we have one grainy picture. You are much better looking than reports say,” Phil said. He looked at Melinda. “You get us home, and those rather thick files we have on you disappear. You keep us safe until we get back, and I’ll make sure SHIELD never touches you.”

“You said that already,” Melinda reminded him.

“Just pressing the point, now that we both know who you are.” Phil shrugged. “I need to take a leak. We have money for chocolate bars?” 

Melinda handed him a few Euros and he went in and the kids came out. Melinda filled the tank and could feel their eyes on her. She finished up and turned. “Yes?”

“Show me,” Daisy insisted.

“Show you what?” 

“Anything, everything. I can punch, show me more.” Daisy was bouncing on her toes.

Melinda looked to the store and couldn’t see Phil. “Leave me alone.”

Daisy feinted and swung.

Melinda couldn’t help herself. “You are over reaching.” She swore at herself in four languages. “Come on to the grass.” Melinda walked over and the kids followed.

Phil had an armful of snacks when he came out and saw one of the world’s most badass mercenaries fake falling to the ground from one of Daisy’s tiny punches.

“Daddy! Lookit, I took her down!” Daisy jumped about. "I'm the toughest girl ever! I'm going to be a kick ass field agent."

Melinda hid a smile as she got up. “Focus, tough girl. Try again.” She showed Daisy something new and waited for Daisy to repeat it.

Phil sat at the bench with Fitz and Jemma and they snacked during the fight lesson, Phil teaching Jemma a couple words in Russian while holding out his hand for Fitz to tinker with.

Melinda and Daisy came over, Daisy gushing about learning how to do a decent kick. Melinda ate some of the chocolate and took her turn in the bathroom. She looked in the mirror and reminded herself that this was just a spontaneous job and once she got them to Paris, it was all done. 

The teens weren’t amusing, and Phil didn’t have gorgeous eyes.

What mattered was getting her files scrubbed, that was all.

Melinda walked out, eyes determined. “In the car, let’s go,” she yelled to them. 

They all came over and settled in, quietly after the way she yelled.

She drove for 20 minutes in silence. The silence she had wanted.

How had they made her already used to their chatter?

“So you made Phil’s hand? That’s impressive,” Melinda said into the silence. “Tell me about it.”

The car filled with noise again, and Melinda wouldn’t admit that she enjoyed it.

But the way Phil was grinning at her, she didn’t think she was successful in hiding said enjoyment.


	4. Chapter 4

“Is Paris as beautiful as the movies make it seem? Can we go to the Eiffel Tower?” Daisy asked.

“Do you know where Marie Curie’s files are kept, could you steal them for us?” Jemma asked.

“Do you know where to get a good sandwich?” Fitz asked.

That one confused Melinda. “A sandwich?”

Fitz shrugged. “I like sandwiches and have to figure one is Paris is going to be better than somewhere else.”

“We do eat a lot of cafeteria food,” Phil said. “Perfectly balanced and perfectly blah. I think we could maybe have a nice meal somewhere before we call Nick.”

“But Marie Curie,” Jemma said.

“Jemma, aren’t her records still considered radioactive and kept locked away?” Melinda was sure she had read something about that.

Jemma pouted, “Only a little.”

“And sorry Daisy, the Eiffel Tower is a little too public. But there is an excellent cafe near our base we can go to.”

“Ha, Melinda likes me best!” Fitz cheered.

Daisy glared and Jemma’s pout grew.

Phil decided to avert WWIII. “Daisy how about a birthday party when we get home, any location in the city you want? And Jemma, I’ll let you actually spend a couple weeks in the medical labs helping with experiments.”

“But that isn’t Paris!” Both girls whined.

“And this isn’t a vacation,” Phil said sternly. “We will do better to lay low until back with Nick and we find out what happened. We can talk about a proper family vacation when we are back home.”

“Hawaii,” Daisy said.

“Tokyo,” Fitz countered.

“Mmmmm, London, I miss London,” Jemma said fondly.

Melinda looked at Phil, “Good luck with that.”

“Hey kids, think we can manage alone, or should I see about hiring us a bodyguard, because you know one of you will likely find something that could end the world,” Phil’s grin was sly.

Daisy gasped a little. “Melinda, you’re a gun for hire, you could come with us. Dad, hire Melinda for family vacation.”

Fitz and Jemma cheered at the idea. “You do road trip very well,” Jemma added.

“I threatened to knock all of you unconscious.”

“Oh people do that all the time,” Fitz waved it off. “Most people at home find us a little intense, that’s why it’s hard to figure out who wanted us dead. There are probably a few options.”

Melinda looked at Phil who gave a slight nod of agreement. She looked in the mirror at the kids who had grown serious. “There is a small museum of police history not far from home base that we could go to,” she offered.

All the kids perked up, their interest in law enforcement high.

“I’m not sure -”

“It has an actual policeman in front and you have to be buzzed in, you can see 100 year old criminal ledgers. Just fascinating paperwork,” Melinda knew a man who liked order when she saw one and sure enough Phil looked intrigued.

“Maybe an hour or two of fun, wouldn’t be a bad thing,” Phil said finally.

Melinda winked in the rearview mirror to the kids who made sure not to act too excited.

Melinda parked the car on a random street and lead them through twisting streets and alleys, all the kids stopping at various times to look at things. It was like herding very excited cats. She managed to guide them all to the museum and the three would immediately entranced and she stood against a wall and watched as Phil bent over and put his nose to a glass case to read the ledger.

Whenever a kid called him over, Phil would go and listen to their enthusiasm with honest interest, answering questions, posing new ones. They were having a good time. Maybe she would give him her card to hire her for that family vacation.

Then she remembered that he worked for people who likely wanted her dead.

Melinda pulled out her phone and texted Bobbi to let her know that she was coming in and had a few people with her. She almost put her phone away and then added a text about locking down the equipment and computers.

The four of them seemed about down and had turned to her all smiling and standing close. Melinda took a quick photo of them and put her phone away. “You need some real food, come on.” She took them to a cafe, where Jemma tried to order in French and asked for a skunk. Phil gently corrected her and Jemma repeated the order correctly.

They sat in a corner and Fitz dove into his sandwich, moaning about how good it was.

“Eat, then talk,” Melinda said and Fitz immediately closed his mouth.

“This cheese is smelly,” Daisy said pointing at the communal cheese and bread plate in the middle of the table.

Phil flipped it around. “There now the smelly cheese is by me.” He wrinkled his nose, it was a little smelly.

Melinda tore a piece of bread and wrapped it around the cheese and popped it in her mouth. “There now the smelly cheese is in me.”

“Eat, then talk,” Fitz parroted back.

Jemma was looking at her little pot with the crust on top. “Do you think I could use a soldering iron to make a crispy top on the cafeteria mac and cheese?”

Phil paled at the idea. “I’ll ask them to put it under the broiler more for you.”

A woman came up to Melinda and smiled at her. Melinda reached for a weapon, no one ever approached her. But she just complimented Melinda on her beautiful family and went on her way.

Melinda needed to get these people home. “Right, let’s go to the shop, if everyone’s done.”

They weren’t but Phil understood an order when he heard one and hustled the kids up. They walked and Phil could tell they were going in circles, that Melinda was trying to make it difficult to find the place again for them. It was a building like any other, but at the side door needed a retinal scan to open.

They went in and stood in the foyer where a blonde woman was holding staves.

“Oh, she is quite pretty,” Jemma said and then blushed.

“What do those do?” Daisy asked.

“The one on the left is being held different, weight a little more, electronics for an electric charge perhaps,” Fitz mused.

Phil stepped in front of his kids and had the shield out in a second. “Did you play us May?”

“No,” Melinda said. “Bobbi stand down.”

“You said company was coming and to lock everything down, that didn’t sound good.”

Lance came around the corner, a gun in hand. “Oh. Hey Phil,” he said putting it away in the small of his back.

“Hunter,” Phil nodded.

“Bob, put those away, if he wanted you dead, you’d be dead already,” Lance looked at Phil. “Cool hand, definitely an upgrade.”

“Thanks,” Phil said. He didn’t lower the shield until Bobbi lowered her weapons.

“Wait, you know Hunter?” Melinda looked at Phil.

“And why would Dad kill someone?” Daisy asked the guy. “He worked in records?”

“Phil Coulson? Badass in a suit, brought in Hawkeye and Widow to SHIELD, has a kill count of at least 200 hundred, Phil Coulson?” Lance repeated and laughed. “He doesn’t work at a desk, he’s like SHIELD’s top field handler.”

All the kids looked at their Dad. “I was, perhaps, in the field for a time in my career,” Phil said carefully.

“You faced down a fucking robot sent down from another planet with a gun and a taser,” Lance said.

“It was a small robot,” he said quickly, not liking how Fitz’s eyes were gleaming.

“It was 15 feet tall,” Lance said. “And SHIELD actually stiffed me on that job.”

“We did not,” Phil said. “You were an outside contractor, and paid the standard rates, but 10% for loss of eyebrows due to alien laser beam heat.”

“My car,” Lance countered.

Phil rolled his eyes. “Haven’t missed you.”

“How well do you know Dad?” Daisy asked.

“SHIELD hired me for random jobs about 5, 6 years ago. I know a lot of bad blokes, it came in handy. You should have seen the time your dad ended up in this underground fight -”

“NO!” Phil said sharply.

Lance winced. “Yeah, that story is rated R.”

“And I’ve been in records since the hand,” Phil said. “About 3 years.”

“Huh, well nice to see you Phil, how can we help?”

Bobbi and Melinda kept looking between the two, completely shocked by this information.

“You did work for SHIELD?” Bobbi was shook. “You hate government organizations.”

“I didn’t work for SHIELD,” Lance explained. “I occasionally worked for Phil, who worked for SHIELD.”

“Someone in SHIELD tried to kill us,” Jemma said.

Lance nodded. “Of course, bunch of assholes in there. Ward, Sitwell, Garrett, Hand.”

“Hand isn’t an ass, she just kicked yours for flirting on an op,” Phil said.

“Fair point,” Lance looked at them. “So baby SHIELD you got any tricks up your sleeve?”

“We made Dad’s hand,” Fitz said.

“Good, I got some shit from a supplier that doesn’t work, fix it and I’ll get you Bob’s supply of gelato. It’s really good.”

“Dad, can we go play?” Fitz asked. Daisy and Jemma looked at him eagerly.

“Lance, my kids aren’t to be left unsupervised near weapons, or technology that can end the world. Anything happens to them, San Juan will be a happy memory, understand?”

“Sure, Phil,” Lance said and started to walk away. Daisy hugged Phil and they all scampered after him, clamoring for more stories about their father.

“What just happened?” Bobbi asked. “Since when is Hunter a good guy?”

Phil laughed, “Since never, but he occasionally has moments where he isn’t a bad guy.”

Melinda looked at him. “Field agent?”

Phil shrugged. “I should call Nick.”

“You look tired,” Bobbi said. “One more night won’t make a difference right? We have some spare bunks, all of you can rest here, and then be extracted in the morning.”

Phil thought about what waited at home, what they needed to figure out. He looked at Melinda. “Is this okay for you?”

Melinda looked at him. “Yeah, it’s okay by me.”

“Some rest would be good,” Phil admitted. “And a shower.”

“I’ll show you. There are some spare clothes too, might find something that fits a little better,” Melinda guided him down the hall.

Bobbi thought about the kids. “I’ll run out and grab them some stuff that actually fits.”

“Thanks,” Phil said. “Once we’re home, I’ll wire some money in repayment.”

“No need,” Bobbi secreted away the weapons and then went out the door.

They walked down the hall and he heard Fitz say, “Ooh, lasers functioning at 20%,” and decided to ignore it. He didn’t especially trust Hunter, but conversely knew his kids were relatively safe.

He went to the bathroom and sighed in pleasure under the shower. It felt so good to scrub off all the travel and the grime that had settled in from waking up in an alley. When he stepped out there was a towel, clean sweats, and a beer on a side table. He looked at the glass shower doors and shrugged. He was used enough to communal showers that Melinda seeing him naked didn’t bother him. Phil was more bothered that he hadn’t heard her. Either she was that good, or his brain had decided she was trustworthy and didn’t react to her entrance.

He put on the clothes and grabbed the beer and walked around a bit. It was a small place really, but he could see all the places where weapons or tech were hidden. Phil came across a ladder and climbed it and then went through the window and climbed until he was sitting beside Melinda on the roof.

“Nice view,” he said and took a sip of his beer.

“It is. Bobbi chose Paris after our last base of operations was compromised, but it’s good.” Melinda took a pull from her own drink.

“Thank you for getting us here,” Phil said after they were quiet for a bit. They heard a small explosion below them. Phil waited for a cry or shout and there wasn’t one. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” he decided.

“You’re good with them,” Melinda said. “They adore you.”

“I adore them,” he replied. They stared at the darkening skyline.

“Hunter is rarely full of praise for people, but he seemed impressed by you,” Melinda said.

“I was good at my job,” was all Phil said.

“How good?”

“If I had ever been sent after you, you wouldn’t be here.”

“So sure of yourself?”

Phil’s grin was wicked and lit up his face in the growing shadows. Melinda realized just how attractive he was. “Oh, Melinda May, I promise, if I had been chasing you, you would have been caught.”

“I’m hard to pin down,” she countered.

“I would have made it so you wanted to be pinned down by me,” Phil said, voice low. They stared at each other and realized the conversation had taken a bit of a turn. Phil drank his beer and cleared his throat. “But I never was, and now here we are.”

“Here we are,” Melinda clinked her bottle against his.

“I’m not sure Dad would like this, but it’s so cool!” Daisy’s voice came through the window.

Phil debated, but the view was really gorgeous. “Nope, still pretending I didn’t hear anything.”

Melinda laughed. “They are more dangerous than any op, I’m guessing.”

“I don’t lack for adrenaline spikes,” Phil agreed.

“Do you miss it?”

Phil watched the lights go on in other buildings. “Yes and no. I miss guiding Clint and Natasha, miss the immediacy of ops, but I wouldn’t trade the kids for anything.”

“Was it that hand that pulled you out of the field?”

“Yeah,” Phil agreed. “A weird explosive. I caught it because if it had hit the ground the whole team would have been dead. Instead, just my hand.” He was casual about it.

Melinda looked at him. “Tough call to make.”

He shook his head. “Not a tough call at all. Plus now I have this nifty shield.”

“You shouldn’t go back,” Melinda said abruptly.

“It’s home.”

“It’s dangerous,” Melinda said. “Someone tried to kill all of you, and you want to go back? What if they try again?”

“I can’t just leave an unanswered threat in SHIELD,” Phil said. “What would you have us do?”

“Stay here,” Melinda offered. Phil stared at her in shock. Melinda was a little surprised herself. “I don’t mean forever,” she added quickly. “But you could get word to Nick about what happened and let him take care of it before you go home. He should be able to handle the threat, he’s the director after all.”

“That could take a week or two easily, I don’t think you’d want the kids in your space for that long,” Phil said after a minute.

“I don’t think I’d mind,” Melinda said casually. She put her hand down on the roof beside Phil.

Phil put his hand down beside hers, not quite touching. They sat in silence and finished their drinks.

Music started to come through the window.

“I have to go back,” Phil said finally. “I need to personally know that it is taken care of. I trust Nick, but I need to know who tried to kill my kids and take care of them myself, or I’ll never feel they are safe.”

That was a sentiment that Melinda could understand.

“Dad, we have gelato, it is so tasty!” Daisy’s head popped out the window. “You want some?”

“We’ll be in, in just a sec sweetie,” Phil said.

“K. Did you really ride a dinosaur?”

“No, what the hell is Hunter telling you?”

Daisy got a little shifty. “Nothing. Bye!”

Phil took one last look at the skyline and nodded to himself. He leaned over and kissed Melinda’s cheek. “If I had ever been sent after you, I wouldn’t have killed you. I would have brought you in,” he whispered. Phil slid down and went back in through the window.

Melinda stayed on the roof, by herself, reminding herself only a fool got attached to people after two days.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!

Garrett walked into Fury’s office and saw him moving around trying to frantically sort things. “Sir, did something happen with the WSC?” They were the only ones who made Fury move like this.

“No, Phil finally called in, he and the kids are in Paris.”

Garrett froze for a second before smiling. “Told you they just went on a field trip,” he said casually.

“Yeah, your sources were dead wrong about them being south,” Fury pulled a gun from his desk. “Phil requested I personally pick them up, said he needed to talk to me before I brought the kids home.”

_ Shit, _ Garrett thought. He needed to get out ahead of this. “Sir, don’t you have that weapons summit?”

“The kids matter more,” Fury said.

“Would Deputy Director Hill agree with that?”

Fury paused. “Crap. She spent months organizing this. She would actually have my balls if I’m not there for at least the start.”

Garrett pressed his advantage. “They trust me, I’ll go bring them home. You know they are safe with me.”

“Yeah, you’re rather fond of them aren’t you?” Fury smiled. “I really appreciate that. You know I was thinking they needed a more personal security team as they are exploring, that something that interest you?”

_ Fuck no _ , but Garrett smiled. “Let’s just get them all home from their adventure and we’ll see what happens.”

Fury clapped a hand on Garrett’s shoulder. “Sounds good. Call Phil at this number to let him know the situation.” Fury left in a swirl of coat.

Garrett put the number in his pocket and sent a message to Ward and a few others to meet him in the hanger. He was going to finish this.

****************************************

“We still have time, Uncle Nick’s flight plan doesn’t have him landing for like another hour or two,” Daisy whined. “Bobbi is going to show me how to use her staves. Please, please, please, please.”

Fitz was sitting on the ground, guts of some machine strewn around him, and Hunter was letting Jemma take a blood sample.

“40 more minutes,” Phil said sternly. “I want to get there in enough time to case the place, be prepared. May, could you and I talk about that?”

“Sure,” Melinda agreed. They walked over to a work table well away from all the kids. “I thought you said it was too dangerous just to call Fury for a pick up?”

Phil nodded, “I gave him an old code, that warned him of danger. He knows to come alone.”

Melinda nodded. “It is a fairly open strip, no real hiding places. Mostly a drop and pick up spot.”

“That’s what I figured. Do you have a spare piece I could borrow?”

Melinda went to a locker and swiped her thumbprint. She check the weapons before giving Phil a collapsible baton, a knife, and a glock. “Will this work?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Phil looked at her. “You could come with us,” he offered quietly. “SHIELD can use people with your skills.”

“Prison cells not really to my tastes, and I don’t like taking orders.” 

“I told you, I can stop them from locking you up,” Phil insisted.

“You really have that sort of power?”

“Well, not especially, but Nick owes me 3 giant favours,” Phil grinned and pointed at his prosthetic hand.

Melinda shook her head. “It was...interesting meeting you Phil.”

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Melinda,” Phil ran a finger along her jaw. “I don’t have a card to leave, but if you call Prezzi’s desserts and catering in New York and ask about the Tuesday’s marzipan special, you’ll get through to the SHIELD directory. Just if you ever need a favour.”

Melinda pulled her card out of her pocket and slid it into Phil’s pocket. “Just in case someone ever tries to kill all of you again.”

Phil leaned into Melinda a little bit, mouth hovered near hers.

“Whatcha doing, Dad?” Daisy asked.

Phil stepped back. “Nothing, you guys ready to go?”

“Yup. I can’t wait to see Uncle Nick go on the warpath to catch whoever it was that drugged us,” Daisy rubbed her hands together. “And I’m going to help. I punch real good now.”

“Two days of lessons isn’t enough to wade right in,” Phil said exasperated. “But, I will arrange more lessons when you get home.”

“Sweet,” Daisy cut in between them. “Thanks for like not leaving us in the alley. You are really cool.” Daisy hugged Melinda and bolted away before Melinda could react.

“She’s a hugger, sorry,” Phil said.

Melinda shrugged. “I survived. Let’s get you to the airstrip.” She pulled an SUV out of the garage and Phil and the kids all loaded up into it and they drove 30 minutes out to the small private airstrip.

They stood there and watched when the quinjet landed.

Melinda whistled a little. “Oh, I’d like to get my hands on that.”

“You can fly?” Jemma asked.

“Yes, I have my pilot’s licence,” May answered.

“You are so cool,” Fitz said. The girls nodded.

“I’m cool,” Phil protested. All three kids shook their heads with a look of pity. “I am. I have like the biggest Captain America memorabilia collection in New York.” Everyone looked at him. “That’s dorky, not cool, isn’t it?”

The door on the quinjet opened and Garrett walked down. “Phil, man everyone’s been worried sick about you four. Fury’s been going crazy hunting you down.”

“Why isn’t he here?”

“WSC weapons summit, kept super hush hush. It was go or be replaced as head of SHIELD,” Garrett explained. “Hey kids, have a good adventure.”

“It wasn’t an adventure. Someone tried to kill us, and I think you were involved,” Daisy glared at him.

“Daisy,” Phil chided.

Garrett looked shocked. “Wait, what?”

Phil sighed. “I need to talk to Fury first because it becomes common knowledge, but there is a problem.”

“Well let’s get you all home then and this will all be sorted out,” Garrett started to hustle them to the plane. “Ward, pay their driver, and leave a good tip.”

Ward moved over to Melinda and Garrett started pushing the kids.  

“Hey, wait!” Fitz protested. “We want to say goodbye.”

“No time, we need to get you home, if there is really a threat,” Garrett said. “Get on the plane.”

“But-” Daisy pouted.

Phil looked at Garrett, “Kids. Get on the plane,” he said sharply. They stared at him in shock at the curt tone. They all waved at Melinda but Phil never looked back. His hand went into his pocket though. The one she knew he had put the knife in.

Melinda watched them get on the plane and out of sight and went around to the driver door. The man who was supposed to pay her was smiling. She wished she was surprised when he pulled a gun on her. She flung open the door and caught him in the stomach.

He was good, clearly well trained and experienced. But she was better. And she heard Daisy scream on the plane. Melinda didn’t waste any time and fought the man viciously. Ward got a few punches in, but she kicked his knee out and slammed his head into the car until he was knocked out.

Melinda ran onto the plane and saw 2 men down and Phil standing protectively in front of the kids. Daisy had a split lip.

Garrett had a gun pointed at them. “Well now, you aren’t just some driver are you?”

“She’s the Calvary and she’s going to kick your ass,” Daisy said smugly.

“Don’t call me that,” Melinda said never taking her eyes off of Garrett.

“And after we take down Garrett, we are talking about hacking secure files again,” Phil said.

“I didn’t - Hunter told me,” Daisy protested

Garrett faltered a bit, the name registering. “Shit, Phil are you the luckiest son of a bitch ever or something? A drug that is supposed to kill all of you, doesn’t, and the person you find to help you is the fucking Calvary?”

Melinda leapt forward and kicked out. “I said don’t call me that.” She fought Garrett, who wasn’t fast but hit hard when he landed. “Get the kids out of here,” Melinda shouted as she got Garrett down but he rolled away. She focused and tried to get the gun out of his hand, but he just wasn’t letting go. He shot and she swore when it grazed her. Melinda reached up and grabbed a bar and swung out and it pushed Garrett several feet. He stumbled but righted himself ready to shoot her when they all heard the gun.

Garrett looked down and saw the bullet holes in him.

“SHIELD regulation, Garrett. Even on a milk run retrieval, wear some armor,” Phil said behind Melinda. He emptied the clip into Garrett who slumped over dead.

Phil dropped the gun. “Haven’t done that in a while,” he said. He turned around. “Did you all keep your eyes closed?” he asked the kids.

Sure enough, all their eyes were squeezed shut.

“It would have been cool to see you kick ass, Dad,” Daisy said.

“No, you didn’t need to see that,” Phil said. “We need to tie up the others.” He went over to a storage cabinet and pulled out cuffs. He tossed some to Melinda who secured the other men and Phil went and dragged Ward on board. “Yes still closed kids.” The three were chained and gagged to seats at the rear of the plane, and Phil got a body bag for Garrett. Melinda helped him roll the body into it and they stuffed it into the corner.

“Okay you can open your eyes. You aren’t too grossed out by the idea of flying over an ocean with a corpse are you?” he asked.

“Nae,” Fitz said.

“Nope,” Daisy agreed.

“Can I have some necrotic flesh?” Jemma asked. “Not like he needs it.”

“Just...just strap in for the flight,” Phil said. He looked at Melinda. “I know it is a lot to ask, but -”

“I’ll get you guys home. Got you this far didn’t I?” Melinda smiled at him. “That was pretty impressive,” she said.

“Not as impressive as you,” he said swiftly. They stared at each other.

“What are they doing?”

“I think that is Dad flirting,” Fitz whispered to Daisy after a minute. “Are most people turned on by fighting?”

“Perhaps they have a shared perversion,” Jemma suggested. “Studies need to be done.”

“I’m going to go fly now,” Melinda said.

“Yeah,” Phil agreed. He went and made sure the kids were secured and cleaned Daisy’s lip.

It was a long flight, and the kids fell asleep. Phil wanted to go sit up with Melinda but the men had woken up and he wasn’t risking leaving the kids, even with them chained.

“Phil, they are asking my access code to land,” Melinda said.

“Delta 5024,” Phil said.

“Roger that,” Melinda repeated it into the comms and made her approach. “Uh, Phil, why are there 20 armed guards and a very pissed off looking pirate?”

“Uncle Nick!” the kids shouted. They started to reach for the harnesses.

“Not landed yet,” Melinda reminded them. They stayed still until Melinda finished the descent and declared them clear and opened the door. The kids tore off their belts and ran through the guards that started to swarm the plane.

“Uncle Nick, Garrett tried to kill us. Twice!” Daisy shouted as she ran into his arms. Fury hugged her tight. “And I punched one of the bad guys. I’m ready to be a level one field agent. And I might have super powers.”

“Can I perform the autopsy on Garrett?” Jemma asked. “Please, Uncle Nick.”

“I’ve built a new lie detection machine, can I use it on the ones Dad didn’t kill?” was Fitz’s question.

“What the hell is going on?” Fury yelled.

“I am very cranky with you Nick, I gave you the code for danger, come yourself!” Phil yelled back.

“No you didn’t, you gave me the all clear code.”

“What?” Phil crossed his arms. “I told you to check the price of oil, that means danger.”

“No, it means all clear. The price of gold is danger,” Fury argued.

“Gentlemen, perhaps you want to focus?” Melinda suggested coming off the plane, guns on her.

“Stand down,” Phil ordered and the guns lowered.

“Not that important, hmmm?” Melinda asked.

“Not really,” Phil said.

“Who’s she?” Fury asked.

“She’s Melinda, she saved us and she’s cool and I want to keep her,” Daisy said. “And Dad flirted with her.”

“Is that a fact?” Nick smiled at the two of them. It was a shark’s grin.

Phil stepped in front of Melinda a little. “She’s just someone who helped out a stranded man and his kids.”

“Then why does she have a cool code name?” Jemma asked. “Even Garrett knew it.”

“What is that code name, sweetie?” Nick asked, hand going to his hip.

“Jemma is mistaken, May just was a transporter, who is leaving out the west exit, taking the third elevator on the left which is a direct line to the street, where the subway station is three blocks south by south east,” Phil answered.

Melinda nodded and started walking, feeling eyes and guns on her back. She made it to the street though, and kept going.

They were all home now, they’d be fine.

A week later she had an email that only said  _ as promised _ . It contained a timed link to SHIELD files and a countdown started after she opened it. All information on her that SHIELD had was gone. The clock hit its end and she was kicked out of the system.

It was all over. She could move on.

She wondered if Daisy was getting her combat lessons, and if Jemma got her autopsy, what Fitz was building.

And she wondered about Phil.

 

**One Month Later**

 

Melinda went to the hotel room that Bobbi had told her to meet the client at. She knew the hotel well, and how easy a swift exit would be. She knocked on the door and when Nick Fury opened it she got ready to run.

“Don’t make me chase you, I’m tired and cranky,” Fury said. “Now get in here and listen to the damn job offer.” Nick went back in and sat on a chair. “I am goddamn tired of hearing your name you know.”

“I’m sorry?” Melinda stepped into the room.

“Melinda is so cool, Melinda liked my ideas, Melinda would encourage my science. On and on and on,” Nick groaned. “They spent three days with you and just never shut up.”

“Even Phil?” Melinda tried for casual and from the way Fury smirked, she doubted she pulled it off.

“He doesn’t say a damn thing, but the one photo SHIELD had of you in files that somehow no longer exist is inside his desk. I’m sick of the pining.” Nick leaned back in his chair. “So I’m here to offer you a contract.”

“What sort of contract?”

“Bodyguard for the most annoyingly intelligent and curious brats who ever lived,” Fury said. “And their teacher slash father slash man who would be a good guy to date. What do you say?”

Melinda looked at him. “I say let’s talk numbers.”

 

**3 months later**

 

“Is everything packed?” Phil asked the kids as he went to the work room. “Oh good god, do we need that many bags?” he stared at the pile. “We’re only going to be gone a week.”

“Yes, we do,” Daisy said. “Never know what we might encounter. Be prepared.”

Fitz and Jemma talked over each other to explain why they needed all the equipment for the tour of the dig site they were doing.

“Fine, fine, I’ll go clear the load out with our pilot,” Phil said, smiling at their antics. He took the elevator to the pad and saw the quinjet was having its preflight checks done. “Hey, who’s our pilot?” he asked a grounds crew person.

“On the plane, already,” he pointed.

“Thanks.” Phil walked up the ramp. “Hello? I’m Phil Coulson, thanks for flying us to Columbia.” He stumbled when the pilot turned.

“It is my pleasure,” Melinda said, sitting there in her SHIELD uniform. “What are the chances of it all going horribly wrong?"

“At least 30%,” he said staring at her, a slow smile growing over his face.

Melinda stood up and went over to him. “30% sounds reasonable, especially for your kids.”

“They’ve only had a few minor explosions since you left. And my hand now has lasers. And fake skin,” he said holding it up. 

Melinda ran her hand over it and the skin lit up a bit. “Pretty.”

“Not as pretty as you,” he whispered. “A SHIELD uniform suits you.”

“I’m all respectable now,” she said dryly.

“Respectable is good.” Phil inched closer.

“Is Dad going to kiss her?” Daisy asked. Neither of them had noticed the arrival of the teens.

Phil groaned.

“I think he should ask her out for coffee first, it has been months since he saw her,” Jemma said. “A kiss might be presumptuous.” 

“In the movies he’d do a swooping kiss,” Fitz said. “But that could delay our take off.”

Melinda smiled. “And we’d hate to delay your field trip.”

“Exactly,” Fitz said. “I mean I want Dad to be happy, but newly found mysterious ruins! With bizarre tech.”

“Buckle in everyone,” Melinda said. “Long flight ahead of us. And when we land you obey my orders for your safety.”

“Yes ma’am,” all three kids said.

“Are you here forever?” Daisy asked.

Melinda smiled at Phil. “I am.” The kids cheered and hurried to buckle in.

“You know, I bet there will be crappy coffee at the dig site, maybe I could buy you a cup,” Phil asked.

Melinda kissed him quickly. “Coffee sounds good. You could sit up front with me?” she offered.

“I should stay with the kids,” he said and when he turned his head they were all glaring at him and pointing to the front of the plane. “Or I’ll sit with you.” 

The kids smiled and high fived each other. 

  
Field trip, and Melinda, and Dad looking all happy. It was perfect. It was totally like happily ever after sort of perfect.


End file.
